Whilst scouring our long list of submissions, I wasn’t expecting much of this submission as the original title was “Buy my album and attractive women will have sex with you” which I thought it was hilarious, but probably a sign of a non starter.

How wrong was I, Fonzi is an emcee you should keep an eye on, dope lyrics, dope delivery over snatched beats, very reminiscent of the 90’s…I’ll let the man introduce himself, as he not only keeps it real, but is also hilarious to read.

Listen and support the album on Bandcamp


I make music for aging haters and mensa members.  I’m a hip hop curmudgeon who believes that Kool G Rap perfected the art of spitting, and everyone who has ever been dope owes him an immense debt of gratitude.  I grew up in Chicago and was active on the underground scene in the early 2000s.  I released a catastrophically poorly promoted freshman album in 2004 entitled 6 Bucks and a Transfer.  After almost 10 years off I went back to the studio.  This time instead of finding dope producers to work with I jacked beats off youtube.  (It’s 2015 you know.)  This was done not to profit off the hard work of underpaid beat makers, but because I now live in Tucson, AZ.  Tucson is a desert wasteland, and the hip hop scene is abysmal.  I take hip hop very seriously.  The people I’ve met in Tucson make me embarrassed to be a part of hip hop.  So rather than tacitly condone the wackness that surrounds me I took a step back and immersed myself in quality classic hip hop production.  “I’d rather be ass fucked by a rhino/ than put some wack stuff on my vinyl” My goal was to reinvigorate some of my favorite records with an updated sound.  I think I succeeded.  Arm the Homeless is a dense record, full of elaborate rhyme-schemes, strange topics, and absurd amounts of alliteration.  I have been compared to Slug from Atmosphere, Logic, Mac Miller, and Nas. (That last one was a stretch, even  I would admit that)  But I think more accurately “I am Michealangelo mixed with Maya Angelou.”  “The ingredients that made me/ are Jay Z, that boy Banksi, and Royce Gracie”  Please give my music a listen.  I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

This track is a good place to start, for unabashed battle bars.


Thank you for your time,



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